The Weekend

We hit the Giant Toy Warehouse on Saturday. Discount toys in a temporary warehouse. They hand you large plastic bags when you walk in and you just go to it. In the book section, in addition to millions of kids books, they had some adult Christmas-themed books, one of which I threw in the stroller basket. We left, spending almost $200 on toys and gifts, and when we were walking to the car, I notice Eric laughing and shaking his head. My new recipe book, entitled "A Perfect Christmas" was still the bottom of the stroller, unpaid for. So I ask you...can you have a Perfect Christmas if your gifts have been shoplifted...even accidentally? (No, we did not go back and pay for it ...we're thieves not idiots.)

After the Warehouse, we stopped a the mall. No sooner are we inside than we notice that Kieran needs to be changed...quite urgently. Eric and I, as usual, play a little game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to determine who gets the privilege of the public poppy diaper change and I lose. So, off I truck to bathroom, where I quickly realize that I had removed the pack of wet wipes without putting them back in the diaper bag. Gack, I find some barely damp restaurant wet naps which barely sufficed. By the time I had located the Wet Naps though, Kieran was past his diaper change patience limit and was writhing to get away. Finally done, I stood him up, rammed on his pants fast as I could and left. As we are winding our way through the food court, I noticed people staring oddly at us. After one older couple could not keep their eyes off Kieran (and not in a good way) I happen to look down. I have crammed both his legs into the same pant leg rendering him completely immobile waist down. By the time I get to Eric, I'm almost hysterical and we had to pull Kieran's jeans off mid food court to fix him up. The kid never said a peep.

So....Saturday is Parent and Tot swimming lessons. This is our second go around...the first Kieran was very young - three months when we started - and just clutched to me in fear. Now that he's almost 18 months, he's much more comfortable in the water and runs to the bathroom at the mere word "bath"....and during class...he's clutched to me in fear. Now, instead of getting better in class he's getting worse. The Floaty Boats? He screams in fear. Life Preserver day? Screams in fear. The instructor takes him away from me to practice his back float? You guessed it. All this from a child who has never had a single problem leaving me anywhere else. Now in class while all the other babies sit happily in their floating starfish, Kieran is the only one wailing and pathetically reaching for me. "Is he ALWAYS like this?" the teenage instructor has asked me several time, but clearly doesn't believe me when I say no, almost never. In class, he's "That Kid" and he's mine.

Sunday we had our company kids Christmas party. It's a huge company and the party, somebody clearly should have warned me, is total chaos. It's held at an indoor amusement park thing, and there is a massive lineup for everything. And Kieran is at exactly the wrong age...he wants to ride the train, but doesn't get the concept of waiting his turn. So I have to hold him for 20 minutes while he squirms to get down where I know he will immediately attempt to run onto the tracks. So, I'm at the train while Eric holds our place in the long "Photo with Santa" lineup. By the time we get back, he's been at the front of the line for 15 minutes waving people past. Kieran doesn't know Santa at all, so is consequently not interested in sitting on his lap for love nor money, so our photo, naturally, is a write off. Thank God, for his new favourite food, the candy cane.