Halloweenies

I always thought there were two types of people in the world...crazy Halloween people and, well, everybody else. I'm pretty sure we all know a crazy Halloweenie...someone who lists the day as their favourite holiday and starts planning next costume in early summer. 

I am not one of those people. 

After my trick or treating days were done, and Halloween became a day to only dress up for zero reward, what was a mild dislike of the holiday, morphed over time into a full blown loathing. It became, along with New Years Eve, what I call, a "high pressure holiday". I always felt like I needed a really cool costume but it took me forever to come up with the idea. All through high school and university there were always Halloween functions so every year I would wait until the last minute and then come up with an idea that required a lot of work - face paint, hair colour, the works. For example, I would be a "bag of garbage" -  filled a garbage bag full of balls of newspapers and covered my face in dirt. I have always be willing to look like an idiot on Halloween.

But then one year about 7 or 8 years ago, I went to a Halloween house party and I knew I was done with the day for good. 

I had decided to go to this party as a "person falling out of a building". This required making my hair stand upright, and inserting a lot of coat hangers into my clothes to make them appear windblown. Like I said, a lot of work. So, with my hair full of about nine cans of hairspray and coat hangers hand-sewn into the seams of my shirt so it stood upright above my head (and when someone asked what I was, I told them I was falling from a building,  put my hands up in the air and screamed "AAAAHHHH!") I walked into the party and looked around and realized just what I hated about Halloween...it's that nobody else seems to put in much effort or is willing to look silly for the night. You have your prom queens, your Elviras, your brides,  your princesses (which is wearing your prom dress with a tiara)... basically people just taking their fancy dresses out of the closet and making themselves pretty for the night. And there I am having taken hours  hand sewing coat hangers through the seams of my shirt while some girl takes her black witch robe and hat out of its cellophane wrapper and is done.  (Don't get me started on the guys..mechanics, doctors, farmers. The occasional pimp. All boring.)

Shortly after this party debacle, the day slid even lower as "pretty costumes" have now officially been replaced by "slutty costumes'. This year, I knew the "sexy" transition is 100 per cent complete when my niece told me that at a Halloween store there was a costume that was a"slutty nun." Please, I'm OK with the sexy barmaid, the sexy nurse and even the sexy cat, but can't our friggin' NUNS be left alone? 

Anyway, having sworn off dressing up, I turned my attention to handing out candy. No dressing up required. The first year I did this I lived in a ground floor apartment right downtown with my sister and I told her that I wanted to hand out candy. She had lived in the apartment longer than I and warned me that they got a LOT of kids, so I bought probably about 20 bags of candy. She was right about it being crazy... I got home from work at 5:30 and there were hundreds (and hundreds) of kids swarming the neighbourhood. By six I was giving kids one tiny pack of Chiclets each and I was out of candy by 6:15. (That was also the year that at about 9:30 the doorbell rang and some man in his forties was standing on our doorstep holding a shopping bag in one hand and a cigarette in another and asking if we had any candy left.  Creepy.)

Now with the arrival of children the day has become more enjoyable again. Since Eric's band was playing and he wasn't around we turned off our own lights and went to my brothers house. Kieran (dressed as a cow) had a ball trick or treating with his two cousins....even though he ran out of steam after about 25 houses and had to be carried to the next 25.  (At least he's a small cow).

So, assuming Kieran doesn't need to be carried every year, there may be hope for the day. One year we may even go so far as to decorate our house up all Halloween-y and play scary music at the doorstep. 

However, rest assured, I will never, EVER dress up as a slutty nun.