These Are the People in Your Neighbourhood

Seriously, my neighbours are nuts. How did we get so unlucky as to have people on both sides of us that we absolutely cannot stand?

Of course, the Oldies next door (who have not spoken a word to us in 2 years - well, except to tell Kieran to get out of their driveway) have been embroiled in a decades long war with the Trashies on the other side of us. I know this because prior to the Oldies ceasing to speak to us, the wife would corral me every chance she got to TELL me how much she hated the Trashies and all the horrible things he'd done (apparently he'd stalked the woman who lived in our house, he drove his kids to school drunk and other horrible things).

And Mr Trashy next door, who is also a yammerer, would tell me how the Oldies have a vendetta against him and would complain about every single thing...such as his young kids being "too loud" in the pool on a Saturday afternoon. His kids ARE loud in the pool but aren't ALL kids? It would never even cross my MIND to complain about kids having fun in their own yard during the daytime.

After living here three years I'm still not sure who to believe because they are both so unlikeable, but it's like living on the border between Israel and the Gaza Strip. I'm half expecting grenades to lobbed over our flower garden.

Anyhow, yesterday, as usual I am going about my business inside our house when I hear a commotion from our sidewalk. I didn't pay much attention because I figured it was just kids but then one of Eric's clients left and when the door opened I could hear that it was adults screaming at each other. Turns out, it was the middle-aged daughter of the Oldies (who does not live there) and Mr Trashy. Trashy is holding a hockey stick in a threatening manner and Oldie-daughter is screaming that she's going to call the cops. This is all happening on our sidewalk.

Eric's poor client, who is a young high school girl just trying to get to her car is totally freaked out. And we notice for the first time that she has parked (100 per cent legally) in the forbidden spot right across from the Oldies driveway which is the reason they aren't talking to us in the first place. Well, sure enough, Oldie daughter, who again might I mention DOES NOT LIVE THERE, marches right up to the poor girl and tells her not to park there ever again, which I'm sure scared her even more.

Unfortunately, I don't actually know what the argument was about. We were heading out a few minutes later and Trashy was still outside and tried to engage us in a regular conversation about our Valentines Day plans and all I wanted to ask him was what the argument was about but I chickened out.

I'm sure it was something ridiculous, but I'm just thankful that the Oldies don't acknowledge our existence let alone scream at us. Yet.

Summer's coming!!!