The Pool

Well, time sure is flying. It seems like just yesterday I lived the babysitting horror story...

We are well into the school year, which so far is going quite swimmingly. Senior Kindergarten seems to be flowing a lot better than JK. Kieran has the same teacher and the same classroom. The class  has about 8 fewer kids (lower enrollment that last year...I think the baby boom was Kieran's year) which seems to make a big difference and their classroom was renovated over the summer to make it quite a bit bigger. In short, it all seems less chaotic than this time last year.

Now, while things are going well on the Kieran side, we are in the throes of hideous swimming lessons with Kaya. Starting at age three, swimming is independent of the parent, which makes me so very happy. I was never a fan of the Parent and Tot classes. Kieran as a baby was the kid who wailed for entire class...he hated the whole process and when he was about two I gave up since it was fairly obvious that that neither one of us derived any sort of pleasure from the class. But when he turned three and could go by himself, he was in love with the water from the very first class and has never looked back.

Because of my ambivalence-bordering-on-dislike of Parent and Tot, and probably an even bigger issue of a complete lack of time, I didn't sign Kaya up for any classes as a baby. Then when she was about 2.5, I figured that I was being selfish so we went and to my utter surprise she loved, loved, loved it. She was the kid that was so happy to be in the class that other parents pointed her out to their own wailing toddlers in a "why can't you jump into the water with wild abandon like HER?" She wasn't crazy about putting her whole head under the water, but neither did most of the kids. And the absolute highlight of the class was the last 5 minutes when they were allowed to go down the mini slide. My God... she adored the slide and would go as many times as possible before the time was up.

The drill for the slide was pretty straightforward. The instructor stood at the slide and would release the kids once their parent was in place at the bottom of the slide. The parent would catch their child and move swiftly far away from the pack of parents at the bottom so that the next parent could move in freely. There was one woman who was particularly annoying in that she would catch her child and then proceed to stand there telling him what a good boy he was: " Good job Evan! Was that fun? Did you go fast?" etc. It wasn't actually the talking thing that was annoying so much as that she was willfully holding up the process. I don't even think she was oblivious to the hold up, I got more of an entitled, selfish vibe from her. 

So, there we are, in the last class, Evan is in just front of Kaya. He goes down first and his annoying mother catches him and whilst praising him profusely on his sliding prowess, moves out of the way but is still completely blocking me...but not blocking the slide. The teacher, I guess because the process of the parents getting into place is pretty quick, let's Kaya go. She plunges into the water with no one to catch her. He immediately realizes that I am no where near the slide (and still trying get the giant annoying mother to MOVE) and jumps in to rescue her. He pulls her to the surface, but she has taken in a huge mouthful of water. Kaya sputters and gags and, naturally, starts WAILING. The entire pool is staring because when the instructor has to jump into the pool at top speed to prevent a near drowning, it grabs everyone's attention. He hands her to me, apologizing profusely because he should never have let her go (obviously). I was furious but he was so apologetic that I told him it was OK and realistically he jumped in the second he let her go and she probably wasn't in any real danger. I was actually more annoyed at this other mother for being the only parent there who repeatedly NOT get out of the damn way for anyone else. She was standing right there and not only did she not apologize, she didn't even acknowledge that any sort of negative episode had occurred.

Anyway, it was sort of a bad scene, Kaya wailing. I was pissed. The instructor apologizing repeatedly, but the class was over, permanently. It all ended on a decidedly low note.

Since she was only a couple of month away from turning three, I decided weeks early that I had done my parental Parent and Tot duty and would wait until she was three to sign her up for swimming lessons. Then because her birthday fell just a few weeks after the spring session started, I decided to wait until September to start her in classes. Also, I wanted to put as much time between the slide episode and the beginning of new classes.

Instead, I bought us a Family Swim pass for the summer so that she would get some practice in the water. After our first outing in the pool, it was quite clear that she was NOT the same child who loved water months earlier. She didn't want anything to do with it and clung to me petrified for the entire time. For almost an hour I tried to coax her into having some fun while Kieran splashed around in joy. The pool had these huge floating flutter boards that could hold three kids so I finally convinced Kaya to lie on one while I pulled her around gently for a few minutes and she was OK. Kieran, seeing some fun to be had, wanted to get on, so I pulled both of them around a bit until Kieran, deciding he'd had enough, rolled off unexpectedly to go do something else. The shift in weight caused Kaya to roll off the other side, again plunging underwater. Cue sputtering, sobbing and even though I was right there, it was all over but the crying. So, I told Kieran we had to leave, which made HIM cry and off I skulked to the change room; defeated.

I made Eric come swimming a few more times to see if he could ease her fears, but she never really got over it. She got a little bit better and loves the beach and to putter on steps of pools...but that's about it.

So, I was quite nervous about starting her in lessons on her own. But, shockingly, she was fine. At first. By the 4th class though, something had happened and she refused to go anywhere past the first step of the water. She wasn't really crying, she just refused to do anything. But that class had a substitute teacher and I thought maybe it had something to do with that. Near the end of the class when they went over the slide, Kaya screeched until the life guard came to get her and brought her back to the shallow steps. Since the class was almost over anyway, I went out to get her, but he shooed me away and told Kaya to sit and wait for the other kids. The next week, when Ryan,her regular teacher was back, it was even worse.  I had read somewhere that often they prefer parents NOT to watch the classes because it can be distracting for the child, and gauging from the dismissal I got from the lifeguard the week before, I gathered that they prefer to deal with these situations themselves.

So, there I was sitting just outside the viewing area - which is small and packed so I opted for the cement bench in the hallway. I thought it might be better if she didn't see me anyway.  After a few minutes, I see many heads in the viewing area suddenly swivel towards me, so I figured she was crying. I sighed and got up and made my way the change room. I wasn't sure if I should walk out in all my street wear to the pool deck to get her and be subjected to another sharp dismissal from the lifeguard, so I stood in the open doorway where she could see me. She stared at me and continued to wail.  I moved out of the way for a bit but left her there, and every so often I would move into her view to assure her that I was nearby. Then another parent came up to me and told me she thought I was doing the right thing by leaving her. "After all, she has to learn," said the woman. It was only at that point that I realized people assumed I was in a Parenting Moment. In reality, much of my reason for leaving her there had more to do with my own fear of the lifeguard and interfering with their process, than teaching my daughter a life lesson.

Anyway, after the class I talked to the teacher and explained that I wasn't sure if I was supposed to come get her and HE told me, in no uncertain terms that I should have and that she was a major distraction to him and that by paying extra attention to her, he almost had an incident with one of the other kids. So much for my Parenting Moment. Furthermore, he said next week, I would have to come into the pool with her. Greeeaaaaatttttt.

So, on Sunday at 9 am, instead of at lounging at home drinking a coffee in my PJs or even sitting on fully clothed on a bench outside the pool, I was in my swimsuit in the pool while a gaggle of parents stared at me from the viewing area. She was better, but I know it was only because I was there. She wouldn't let the teacher hold her to practise floating or kicking like the other kids who stared at me like an alien in their midst. Only after much coaxing did she left him lift her into the air in a pretend jump and then came right back over to me.

So, I guess this is the way it's going to be....Parent and Tot, forever.